The Top Five Apartment Dogs for Men

A real man has a dog. There is no question about that, but some of us live in apartments. There is no room for a righteous Great Dane or a loyal German Shepard. There are, however, so excellent options.

Most dogs that are suitable for an Apartment are classified as Small or Toy (extra-small). A lot of them seem a little bit sissy, and the truth is they are. So, which breeds can save you space and man-points. My entire existence in your life is to give you the top five.




5. Boston Terrier. Few cities are more manly than the cradle of the American Revolution . . . and American Lager. Plus, even though terriers are small they were still hunting dogs. Rodent hunting dogs, but still.

4. Morkies. These things are the smartest pups around, and let me tell you the ladies love them. Nothing is more manly then the affection of the chicas. Nothing! They also love beer. I mean love it. They're basically alcoholics. They also mostly exercise themselves, which leave more time for manly activities like eatting or drinking what's left over from your AA regular of a dog.

3. Greyhounds are fast fast dogs, and you can bet on them. Speed + gambling = win? Yep. They also require almost no space, are incredibly easy to train, and don't make a habit of barking at all hours. So if you can't settle you testosterone for a small pup a greyhound is for you.



2. The Yorkshire terrier is also an amazing breed. (I know, I know, three breeds so far have been terriers, but they were bread to live in holes. Just like Grad Students!) About fifty percent of them can be real bitches, but for the most part they are among the friendliest dogs you can find.



1. The number one Apartment dog for a man is...

THE PITBULL! Who cares if they are vicious, mess everything up, and are the most imbreed dog in history. You're a man. Wrestle it to the ground if it barks. Punch it in the face if it craps on the rug. Feed it dianabol if it's not enough of a challenge. Do it. I dare you.