Welcome to the first ever Reminder from Mom Monday or as we like to call it Momday. No forget that momday sounds ridiculous. We all know we didn't leave the nest with all the life skills we needed. Our car broke down we called Daddy and if our sheets needed to be washed Mom was on speeddial. You did that yourself? Well...see you tomorrow I guess. No I am kidding. How do you think your parents learn all that neat how to live life stuff? The horrible truth is their parents threw them to the sharks. That's right, your sweet loving Grandmother kicked your Dad out without a basic life education. Or maybe they were good parents and taught them everything, but I doubt it. So what did you expect your parents to do give you a manual? You did? Well I guess we can write one for you. We'll call it Reminder from Mom Monday.
This week's Reminder from Mom: Shave everyday. Why you ask? Beards are awesome you say? Read on to find out.
It's not very often I bring my person life into The New Adult Life, but I have a good illustration and you're going to sit through it like you neighbors digital photo album. Just be forwarned it includes liberal amounts of awesomeness, a flat tire, and a delicious cookie. For this story and all future ones just assume I was drinking several Diet Cokes throughout.
Okay this story's life changing moral can be assigned to any daily grooming practice not just shaving. It could easily be called why to brush your teeth daily, or why to wear antiperspirent, but it's not. So shove it.
It all started when I started my day at the usual time, which is around noon on my day off. I had just gotten out of the shower and noticed I had an action-hero 24 hour shadow going on. I stopped and spent a good 2 minutes deciding whether or not to shave. I pondered the ethical value of shave, how I would be wasting water, and how it is a general pain in the ass. Against better judgement for some reason I decided to gel up and glide my (PRODUCT PLACEMENT) razor down my face. Did I have anything I knew I needed to be clean cut for that day? Nope. All I knew I had to do was drive my girlfriends car to Sears and get her tire patched while she was in a job interview. So after sitting around for two hours I decided to head out on the long dangerous drive 1.8 miles to my local Sears Auto Center.
I dropped the car at the shop, but I noticed something I had been waiting for since I moved to Atlanta. An easy way to get a second Job. (I work for a church 20 hours a week, which pays the bills. I do like to have some actual money after the end of the month though. I'm in graduate school so no calling me a failure. Yet, ha.) There on the door was a flyer for a Sears Job Fair. I wasn't dressed for an interview in anything but my quick wit and previous related work experience, but I was determined to sell hardware, or washing machines, or really ugly clothes. Heck, maybe even off brand shoes. Perfect. While all my charm would usually breeze me through an interview I was up against around 60 other people for a few jobs. They were in suits, and I was in shorts and a worn polo. Awesome. Hippies may not think it matters, but I promise it does. As does bathing. Stinkin' hippies.
I did have one edge. People our age tend to forget to shave. In fact it appeared I was one of the few that looked well groomed, and here's a cool trick for you:
If you look like a caveman a middle aged HR manager won't care what kind of suit you're wearing. You'll look like this:
I had the last edge I needed. I made it through all the interviews and secured a job. During the coarse of my awesome success I apologized for not being dress and explained that I had just noticed the ad by an act of Baby Moses. She looked me dead in the eye underneath her blue hair and said, "You're the first person who looks clean shaven and bathed." Score. I then thanked myself for shaving and went out into the mall to have a cookie...and a Diet Coke.
Okay so maybe it wasn't just shaving that got me the job, but it didn't hurt and besides there are more reasons to shave.
1. I know beards were trendy. I used to have a 6 incher. Ha. The thing is though unless God forgot to give you a chin or gave you too many you should avoid them for the sake of your professional life. Satistically speaking men who are clean shaven have more job AND relationship success.
2. It makes you look hip. The act of shaving itself is becoming a trendy thing to do, provided you do it in a classy way. Luckily for guys classy means comfortable. Shaving brushes and soaps are back. You can pay a few hundred dollars for a kit at upscale store like "The Art of Shaving" or you can get the same thing online for like $17:
3. The last reason to shave everyday is that it just makes it easier and cheaper. The longer you let your hair grow out the more often you'll have to deal with cuts on your face, and you'll also go through more blades. I don't know if you bearded ones have notice but blades are not cheap. I know of no way to make them affordable other than to use a safety razor (below $27). Shaving everyday actually makes blades last longer. Short hair is easier on the blade.
So shave up, look cool, and get a job.
Good trick Momma's Boys.
Recomendation of the day: Because your sick of being out of it at parties.
Hated this Weekly. I'll do better next time. Or replace it.
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